


Inconspicuous

by ArtsyFartsyBro



Category: Original Work
Genre: Alcohol, Anal Sex, Condoms, Crush, M/M, Mailcarrier au, Masturbation, OCs - Freeform, One Night Stands, Oral Sex, Original Characters - Freeform, Rough Sex, Sex Toys, Stranger Sex, Strangers to Lovers, hot mailman trope, no betas we die like men, no mouth kissing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-31
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:15:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 9,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22487767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArtsyFartsyBro/pseuds/ArtsyFartsyBro
Summary: There's a new mail carrier in Moishe's neighbour hood and its safe to say he's very good looking. Will moishe try and flirt or will he simply admire him when receiving packages. Will he ever receive the mailmans package or will he have to satisfy himself with new toys?Alternate title: Moishe Pavlovs himself into getting turned on when the mailman comes?
Relationships: Moishe/toys, Will/moishe, moishe/will
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	1. Surprise

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ketselehs](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ketselehs/gifts).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drunk Moishe orders a new toy and the new mailman is shy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up, this is an adult story meant for adults by adults. It is not suitable for young audiences. 
> 
> I dont know if i’ll ever let it be super saucy so enjoy the vagueness while it lasts.
> 
> [Edit] Its super saucy now

It wasn't uncommon for moishe to get exceedingly intoxicated and online shop on his weekend nights and while drunk-moishe typically bought very niche things, nights where his bed felt a little to big typically resulted in sober-moishe reading his emails in the morning to cancel orders from adult toy stores. There was the rare occasion he would let an order either for something niche or for a toy go through but overall, his hangover routine was two painkillers, a glass of water, a slice of toast, canceling orders, and going back to bed. Unfortunately, he couldn’t partake in his hangover routine because for once, hed gotten laid at their house and had forgotten to plug his phone in following their deed so when his bed buddy woke him in the morning with a glass of water, he couldn't cancel any orders until he got home. By the time he got home, he fell right asleep on the couch and so he'd forgotten again to charge his phone until he woke in the afternoon. By the time he'd gotten himself food and the phone charged, one of the sites drunk-moishe had ordered from’s cancelation period had expired and lucky him, Drunk-moishe had selected the gift option so he had to wait and see what hed gotten himself.

A couple weeks went by and Moishe had forgotten about his package that was on its way when he heard a knock at the door in the afternoon. He answered it in his tiered sweater and boxer shorts and was greeted with a tall, dark, and handsome mail carrier, satchel slung across his body.

“You’re new,” he says.

“Yeah, the uh, last guy retired.” The attractive mail carrier says, having a hard time meeting his gaze.

Moishe gave an understanding nod and waited for his mail to be delivered. After a moment he cleared his throat politely and said “So… what do you got for me?” This seemed to remind the new guy of his reason for being here and he reached into his bag for a clipboard and pen before shyly looking around and handing Moishe his package.

“I need you to sign for this.” The mail carrier says, handing Moishe all of it and suddenly the shyness of the new guy made more sense. Whoever Moishe had ordered from failed when it came to being discreet as the custom mailer was printed with silhouetted sex toys.

“Oh shit, yeah,” he swiftly signed for it and passed the clipboard back and the mail carrier thanked him, bid him a good day, and hurried down the sidewalk. As Moishe watched him leave, sexy toy package in hand, he couldn't help but appreciate the new guys ass.

After shutting the door, he sat down to open his package and clean the ridiculous surprise he'd gotten himself for later use.


	2. Imagine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moishe gets a new toy and enjoys himself

Moishe fortunately had very few instances where he missed the allotted cancelation period and as such, it wasn’t often he received packages. He received mail such as bills and advertisements but those could easily be inserted through the letter slot and as such, he didn’t have to face the postal worker often. Additionally, he didn’t have to worry about the embarrassing experience of having to face the new and admittedly attractive postal carrier after being handed a dick in a box.

He put the purchase to good use and thanked his drunk self for his bizarre choice in toy as it was something he may be too self conscious to order whilst sober despite the genuine curiosity and desire hed felt towards many toys of similar description previously. He blacklisted the sight, however, as their packaging was incredibly conspicuous. Their site would exclusively be reserved for sober Moishe from then on. 

It was a month before Moishe allowed himself to purchase another toy. Feeling emboldened by his previous wild purchase, he allowed himself something incredibly specific to one of his kinks, only after confirming through reviews that the company provided properly inconspicuous packaging and he waited, spending his time as he typically did, with work, alcohol, and bar flings. 

The package arrived two weeks later in the hands of the postal worker. 

“Hello, I have a package for you,” mister tall, dark, and handsome greeted, looking more confident this time. Perhaps it was the month and a half on the job or maybe that he wasn’t aware he was carrying a package in another sense that allowed him to greet Moishe with a smile, but he did. Moishe smiled politely.

“Hey, do you need me to sign?” Moishe inquired as the taller man handed him the box. 

“That would be helpful, yes.” the postal worker then handed him the clipboard and pen which moishe took and signed, tucking the package under his arm, before returning the clipboard. 

“Thank you,” The postal worker said and moishe returned it with a chuckle. 

“Have a good day, travel safe.” Moishe said and he watched as the postal worker left his porch again. Were the uniforms’s shorts always so short or was this man just incredibly tall? Either way, he briefly appreciated the toned legs before going inside to treat himself to an afternoon of play.

Moishe cleaned the new toy appreciating the curvature of it along with the weight it had before he took himself to his room with a laptop, the toy, and a few additional tools to get to treating himself. He passively imagined himself under the individual in the videos he was watching as he played and let his own mind wander to the things he liked. As he got more and more into it and closed his eyes, he was surprised that his mind changed the person in the videos to the mail carrier for a moment before he caught himself and forced it to change to someone hed been with previously. He probably shouldn’t get off while imaging the mail carrier. Afterall, he didn’t even know his name and had only seen him twice. He finished and cleaned up. While he showered, he half scolded himself for his mind wandering though it was natural. He had been the most recent person he saw afterall. With that, he let himself forget about it and went on about his day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow, yep, here we go again. love me some tropes.


	3. Frequently

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moishe’s habits increase and he starts jacking it to his hot mailman. Very saucy chapter.

Another night at the bar instigated another impulse buy while laying in a strangers bed waiting for them to return from the bathroom and when they did, he enjoyed himself thoroughly until they sent him home. When he woke the next morning, and checked his phone, he found hed forgotten yet again to plug it in and as such had to let the order through. When he could finally check again, he was pleased to find the order was from a site he trusted and had been something on his wishlist for awhile and wasn't upset with the choice. 

On delivery day, moishe answered the door with a beer in hand and greeted the mail carrier. 

“Oh, hello.” The postal worker greets with a smile before he reaches into the satchel. “I’ve got a package for you”

“I bet you do,” moishe mutters under his breath as he places the opening of the beer to his lips, already tipsy this afternoon. 

“Pardon?” The mail carrier inquires, a confused look on his face as he holds the package and the clipboard. 

“Said I bet you do. Its the uh... only time you knock,” moishe covers and holds out a hand. “Lemme sign that for ya” and he takes the pen to sign before anything can be passed to him. The post man handed over the package following the interaction and moishe gave him a lazy once over. “Your boots untied mister,” he informs, gesturing to the boot with the hand holding the pen as the box sat under the arm that held the bottle and sure enough it was

“Thanks,” the handsome mail carrier says, crouching down to tie his boot before smiling. “You sure get a lot of boxes,” he says as he fixes his laces and moishe hums in agreement.

“That I do. Lots of important stuff.” He lies and passes the clipboard back once the man stands.

“Oh? Well I’m glad I can be of service,” and with that they bid one another farewell and moishes watches as the man leaves for the rest of his route before going inside to play with his new toy.

While moishe didn’t typically flirt, most of their interactions were similar. Moishe would order an adult toy, the handsome mailman would deliver it, moishe would watch him leave before going to masturbate. As such, it was only natural that moishe began to think of the stranger more and more and he caught himself less and less until one night he found himself actively imagining the mail carrier and his ripped arms standing in the doorway in the uniform though tighter than in reality, preparing to give him his package. He thought for a moment and while he knew it would probably be wrong to flirt with the stranger, he didn't think it so bad to imagine someone so attractive over him. He wanted to see him again and the only way that was to happen was if he ordered something. Feeling bold following the high of release, moishe unblocked the conspicuous site and made a purchase. 

When it arrived, the handsome mailman wouldn't meet his gaze. “Oh, you have a package for me,” he greeted, feeling coy.

“Uh, yeah,” the man said, a flustered quiver to his voice as he passed held the package out to moishe along side the pen and clipboard. 

Moishe felt a flutter in his chest as he reached for the box, numerous silhouetted sex toys covering the grey packaging, fingers close to brushing the strangers but he had more self control than that. He slowly signed the paper, allowing himself some time to really look at the postal worker. 

Once finished, he thanked him and again watched as he walked away before he went inside to take care of the feeling in his gut hed developed.

Again, he sets up his laptop in bed and before he realizes it, finds himself looking for adult videos involving mailmen and hes not disappointed to find there are a few and while it helps get him into the mood, what really gets him going is the feeling of the toy as he imagines the mailman. Hes not disappointed.


	4. Regret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moishe actually talks to the mailman and has to reconsider his life choices.

It isn’t until there's a knock at the door and Moishe finds himself growing physically excited with each step towards it before he realizes he may have a problem. He gives his crotch a brief scowl before opening the door to the handsome mailman with a package under his arm. 

“Good afternoon” the mailman greets looking handsome as ever with a charming smile, readying the clipboard for signing. 

“Hey,” Moishe greets and holds out his hand to better facilitate the exchange. 

“How are you doing today?” The question surprises moishe as hes handed the clipboard and begins to sign.

“I’m okay. How are you?” They'd not really spoken before and as such, this was moishes first time really hearing the deep voice. He imagined it would rumble low in the chest were they pressed together, it deep enough to shake even him. He scowled at the paper at the thought.

“I’m fine, its nice weather today… is something wrong with the form?” The mail carrier asks as he takes a small step closer to peer at it. Moishe didn't realize how tall he was until he looked up to see him.

“No, its fine. I just forgot how to spell my name for a second” he covers, voice trailing when his eyes met the postal workers. “You’re really tall…” 

This statement takes the mail carrier off guard and he laughs a little, stepping back and scratching his cheek. “Yeah, I guess I am. Uh,” he takes the clipboard as moishe hands it over and trades it for the package, “You’re decently tall yourself, you know..”

“Well, yeah, but you’re really tall..” Moishe holds the box in front of himself, effectively hiding the slight tenting to his pants, hoping that the handsome individual hadn’t noticed it. “I don’t meet people taller than me often.”

“Me neither,” the postman chuckled. “Well, have a good day Mr. Rabinovich.” following this, he starts off the porch.

“Wait how do you know my name?” Moishe asked, confused and some part of him flattered and the postman stopped halfway down the step, looking back at him with a patient expression.

“It’s on the delivery labels.” Moishe immediately felt stupid. 

“Oh right, sorry.” he tried to laugh it off, embarrassed at not only his question but at the brief moment he felt special.

“You’re fine, happens all the time” He assures before continuing on with his job. Moishe wanted to ask for his name but felt silly as by the time he was able to speak again, the man was down the curb already. 

“Well, shit,” he sighs to himself as he goes back inside, closing the door behind himself. Now that he was inside the privacy of his home, he needed to reassess his choices and the reactions he had to someone simply doing their job.

He opens the package in the kitchen and cleans the new toy before returning to his room, however he was somewhat disturbed with himself and his new findings so instead of putting his toy to use, he simply stored it away. He had significantly more toys than he really needed considering it was not difficult for him to get laid. He considered stopping these orders but the slight aversion he felt to no longer seeing the mailman left a pang in his chest and he knew he was in too deep. He considered flirting as he returned to the living room, but that felt just as inappropriate as masturbating to the idea of someone he didn’t know. The person was just working after all, they we’re coming to his door once or twice a week because they wanted to see him. Moishe wasn’t even remotely aware of what the other may be attracted to. This was a difficult situation to find himself in at his own doing. Perhaps now that they’d spoken a little, it would be easier to continue and maybe a few years down the line, they may have bonded enough to try meeting up elsewhere. He sighed, frustrated. Feelings were dumb and the best way to handle them was to shut them up with something to drink and so he did, deciding that future sober moishe could deal with the problem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, sure its weird to be jacking it to a stranger but its not hurting anyone.. Or is it? dun dun DUN, jk, im putting zero effort into this.


	5. Name

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moishe finds out the postmans name and some interesting details about his job.

“Do you ever wonder what's inside the packages you deliver?” Moishes asks as he signs for his package. It was raining today and as such, the mailman was wearing full length pants and a raincoat, leaving everything to the imagination and moishes hope was that he'd be less likely to show up in his fantasies. 

“Sometimes. Some packages have a rough explanation of what's in it like jewelry or clothing.” He answers, moishes box on his hip. 

“Do you ever wonder what I’m ordering?” Moishe hands back the clipboard in exchange for the delivery. Hes momentarily distracted when his fingers brush the postman's gloved hands but he does his best to will himself to focus on the conversation.

“Honestly, yeah. You get a lot of packages, not that I’m judging you or anything,” he explains. A lot of packages is correct on both the literal and the euphemism front. “Though, uh, sometimes I don’t have to wonder much” the handsome mailman chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck qs he averted his eyes from moishes. Right, the very conspicuously packaged sex toys. Moishe considered briefly confessing to every package being a sex toy ordered as an excuse to see the mailman but now didn’t feel right. He still didn’t know his name.

“Do you deliver packages like that often?”

“Uh… No, no not often… but you aren’t the only one I’ve delivered very… obvious packages to” he then chuckled still a little flustered. “You were my first though.” Moishe smiled teasingly

“I was the first person you delivered sex toys to?” he found it surprising.

“Yeah, atleast the first person I was aware I was deliving a sex toy to.”

“Must be weird having a look inside so many peoples private lives, huh?” Moishe leant against the door frame and picked absently at the tape holding his box closed. 

“A little but it could be worse. I’ve never had anyone open the package in front of me so at least I can feel like they've retained some privacy.” The mailman then looks to his watch.

“Have a lot of deliveries today?” Moishe asked, catching the look.

“No, not today, but I should get going. Thanks for talking with me, I appreciate it.”

“Oh, sure, sorry to keep you from your job.” moishe straightened up “thank you for taking the time to talk to me” he offered a smile as the post man started off the steps. “Hey, what's your name?” He calls after a sudden burst of courage.

“You can call me Will.” And with that, he was jogging down the sidewalk through the rain. 

Damn, he was still handsome even covered head to toe like that. 

Will. Now moishe knew what name hed be calling when he stuffed himself full tonight. 

Moishe stopped in that train of thought. How long had it been since hed actually been laid? How many nights a week did he get himself off to the mailman? Again, moishe considered he was in too deep. 

He decided on no new orders for a while. 


	6. Honest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moishe and the mailman have their longest conversation yet

Moishe regretted not ceasing his excessive orders earlier. Although he wasn’t making any new orders, the older ones were still being fulfilled and extending the frequency at which he had to have interactions with the very attractive mailman plaguing not only his walking fantasies, but now his dreams. Not every dream Will showed up in was sexual in nature, however he was the star in those too. As moished never seen much of wills skin, his mind filled in the unknown information or worked in a way to not worry about it such as replacing all if wills body with previous partners or his dream self taking it from behind. He took cold showers in the morning to cease such thoughts.

A knock at the door signaled to moishe that Will was here to give him a package and to send his subconscious into fantasy land. 

“Hey there, Mr. Rabinovich,” Will greeted with a smile. At wills feet sat a pile of boxes. 

“You can call me Moishe, Will,” he tells him, looking to the pile in awe. 

“Alright, you uh… I have a lot for you today.” Will chuckled. 

“I can see that. Wow. That's a lot more than I was expecting.” He stood there, folding his arms over his chest as the pule put a new perspective on how crazy he felt. 

“Lots of signatures needed too.” Will sighs. “Have to do it by tracking number. Do you have time for this? It may take a few minutes.”

“Yeah, I’m not doing anything uh… time sensitive.” He steps aside as Will grabs the first box and starts thumbing through his paperwork to compare the orders. “Can you come in or is that like… against policy?”

“Its against policy for me to enter the home of clients while on route.” Will explains. “I appreciate it, though. Here” he hands over the first box and the slip that moishe needs to sign before he starts on the next one. Once moishe signed the first, he started on moving the pile inside. 

“Can't we just count the packing slips and count the packages?” Moishe suggests and Will suddenly stops and stares at his paperwork like its done him dirty. “That's a very smart way to tackle this, yes.”

“Smarter not harder” moishe nods and counts the packages as will counts the slips. The come up with the same number and moishe sets about signing. “So, would you be able to come in if you weren’t working?” Moishe asks before he can stop himself and internally hes screaming. 

“Technically, yes.” Will shrugs. “Not going into your house when i'm working is more for my safety than anything else. Wouldn't want to get accused of theft or give people the wrong idea, ya know?”

“Wrong idea?” Moishe moves a box inside before signing the next slip.

“Like that their spouse is seeing the postman.” Said postman replies.

“Oh, yeah that makes sense considering your looks.” Moishe wanted to dig a hole in his yard and climb in it, especially with the way Wills brows raised in surprise. Moishe stared directly at the paper and felt his face heat as he signed the next slip, hoping that somehow his mouth wouldn’t betray him again.

“Uh… thanks?” it was said quietly with an unsure tone, almost that of disbelief and when moishe looked up again, Will looked as flustered as he had with the first delivery. 

“Yeah, uh, sorry.” He moved another box.

“No, its fine. Thats uh.. the politest way Anyones said it so..”

“Oh wait hold on, what?” Moishe looked him in the face in his own surprise and Will had this sheepish look.

“Talking about it feels like boasting—“ 

“Boast away” Moishe answers, granting him permission to boast.

“Yeah, um, I’ve had a handful of housewives answer the door once in normal clothes and then from then on, they'd answer in less appropriate clothing. I assume they're bored but I very much do not wish to see feathery lingerie.” Will explains, rubbing the back of his neck. Moishe couldn't help but laugh. 

“Straight out of a porn.” He says and signs the next slip. Will chuckled.

“Appears so. I don’t know what it is about a man in uniform that really makes people do weird things.” Will agreed. 

“Maybe you should put on some weight, exercise less, hide all your muscles so their partners start looking hot again” will teased and despite the laugh he got from will, moishe wished he could just shrivel up and die like he had inside.

“You’re probably right,” mister postman agreed. Moishe focused on finishing the paperwork and moving boxes inside. “I wouldn’t be opposed to the whole scenario if they weren't like.. twice my age, married, with kids, and only saw me as someone to fulfill a fantasy but” he shrugged and when moishe looked up to him, it was clear that in that moment, Will was also internally beating himself up for letting his tongue get away from him. 

“That’s understandable,” moishe nods, hoping that the miraculously relaxed tone allows the postman to not worry or feel embarrassed.

“Yeah… so what's in all these” the postman asks with a chuckle “I’m kidding, I can't ask that.”

Moishe finished signing the papers and moved the last of the boxes inside and before he could stop himself, he passed the clipboard back to will and answered with the straightest face.

“Dildos.”


	7. Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will learns about Moishe's collection and it goes surprisingly well.

“Pardon?” will was surprised, standing up straight stiffly in embarrassment.

“Dildos. They’re uh.. All… dildos.” Now that he’d said it, he was losing confidence. 

“All of them?” Will repeated in disbelief

  
“All of them.” Moishe confirmed, folding his arms over himself, nervousness creeping up. “uh… so you can come over after your route if you want to see all of them?” Moishe suggested, not ready to confess that he had exclusively been buying dildos and other sex toys in order to see Will. 

Will moved his hands to his hips as he considered what Moishe had said and he took a deep breath after a minute. “Yeah.. I mean… its.. hard to believe? That all of that is dildos…” 

“All of the packages, actually… like… every single package you’ve delivered and I signed for.” Moishe elaborated and Will nodded.

“That's a crazy amount of dildos and honestly, yeah, I kind of want to see?” Will confessed. “I… guess I’ll see you later?”

“Yeah, Anytime today or uh, tomorrow? And I mean, you know where I live so, just.. knock.” Moishe supposed there were worse ways to die than shame and as he watched as Will left, he was grateful his embarrassment prevented any of his typical arousal. Still, this could have turned out millions of better ways. 

He set about cleaning the living room and restroom for company seeing as Will would be by significantly sooner than he was actually hoping for. They had spoken a total of twice and already he was showing him his collection of dicks. He tried not to think too much about it as he cleaned his already opened collection of toys and set them up downstairs in no particular order. He then cleaned his dining room and decided to use that as the place to display the excessive collection and once he saw everything including what had just arrived, moishe was somewhat grateful that will was coming over and he could cease this insane expense. 

By the time Moishe heard the knock at the door again that evening, hed already cleaned all of the common areas of his home, rearranged the toys three separate times, and had a beer to calm his nerves. When he answered it, Will was standing there out of uniform and moishe almost didn't recognize him for a second. 

“Hey, you came” he says dumbly and Will nodded. “Come in, do you uh.. want a beer or anything?”

“Uh, water would be fine, thanks” will answered as he stepped inside and mosihe nodded, gesturing to the freshly vacuumed couch. 

“Take a seat, I’ll be back in a minute.” Moishe closed the door as Will sat and headed to the kitchen to get his guest his drink. He returned and sat in the chair near will, passing him his drink. “So uh… how was work?”

“Thank you, it was… not very eventful after I left here.” Will replied with a chuckle before sipping his water. “I dont know if anything could top ‘youve been exclusively delivering me sex toys’, ya know?”

“Yeah, probably. Do you um..” moishe took a sip. “Want to see them now, or later?”

“Once I see them, are you going to kick me out?” Will joked and moishe shook his head. “We can see them later, I kinda need to… prepare myself I think.”

“Oh, yeah, there's uh… a lot.” Moishe laughed. “So, married lonely moms aren’t your type?” 

“Uh, heh, no. No, I try to avoid parents. I’m not good with kids.” He explains, settling into the couch a little more, water in hand. Seeing Will relax allowed moishe to relax as well. 

“What is your type then?” Moishe tries and Will shrugged. “I don’t know.. single… uh, adult… alive… human”

“Oh, you’re not into werewolves?” Moishe jests and will laughed. 

“I don’t know, never met one. They’re human most of the time after all. But yeah, no I don’t super have a type that I’m aware of?” Will took a long drink from the cup, not looking at moishe as he did so, before leaning forward and gently placing the glass on the coffee table. “What about you? What's your type, Moishe?”

Moishe occupied his mouth with a well timed sip as he avoided saying “well apparently you”. He thought about it for a bit before shrugging. “Handsome. A comfortable height I suppose? I have a preference for lots of body hair and curly haired usually but those aren't my only interests.”

“Oh, so like yourself?” Will’s question seemed sincere.

“I guess, yeah.”

“That's good though. At least you know what you like and are what you like” will commented with a small smile and if moishe thought about it, he was right.

“Yeah, that is good. Its good you know what you don't like, like married people wanting to receive a special package from their mail man.” Moishe turns the comment on will and will nods with a hum.

“I get the whole,” and will straightened up, puffing up his chest before lowering his voice “‘ive got a package for ya’” he says in a sultry tone that sends shivers down moishes spine before continuing in his normal voice “thing is sexy but real life isnt a porn, I’m not going to have sex woth you ma’am, youre married and I see your kids on saturdays” he chuckled. 

“Well what if she was single and didnt have kids? Ya know, your type?” Moishe jested and will chuckled. 

“I don’t know, maybe if we talked a little and they asked me for that, but it couldn't happen during route, I have a schedule.” Will confessed passively and pause. “So this is.. really weird, right? We don't know each other and I feel.. super comfortable telling you all this.”

“I think its because you know where I live and that I have a huge collection of sex toys.” Moishe suggests. “And I don't know where you live on your last name.”

“Could be…” will considers this briefly before shrugging. “Kindof nice though.”

“Yeah..” moishe takes the final sip of his beer but holds it in a way that Will couldn't tell. “So uh, mister willing to play the sexy mailman, wanna see all your packages now?”

“Yeah, sure” will stands and moishe does too. And so moishe leads him to the dining room where wills jaw drops. “Oh wow…” he says as he looks at them, stepping closer to see them better as moishe stands in the door way, watching. “Oh.. wow.” Will repeats a few times.

“Well?” Moishe presses “anything to say other than wow?”

“I see you’re into werewolves, Moishe,” he answered with an amused tone and moishe chuckled. “Sorry if this is too personal but do you use all of it?”

“Yeah, mostly.. but uh…not like everyday. Kindof when i’m just in the mood.” He replies . “Hey uh sorry but if I’m being honest, I mainly bought them all so that I could see you? I had enough before but.. You're like… really hot and I wanted to see you.. And you can leave if you want, I don't have many more coming in so you'll only see me a few more times and then we can uh.. not talk again but yeah. Its only right you know.” Moishe confessed quickly and will nodded.

“I mean… at least you went about it in a way that supports the postal system and didn't try and come onto me so thanks for being mildly normal.” Will shrugs, seemingly unbothered which surprised moishe. He must have shown his surprise on his face because will chuckled. “Look, I know I’m hot and the uniform accentuates that. Ive had people actually touch me so you thinking im hot and buying toys so id have to knock on your door is far from the worst thing ive experienced. You’re good, man.” He assures and moishe finds some comfort in them. “You want me to start delivering all your mail to the door so you can see me?” He teases and moishe cant help his blush. 

“No, it’s fine. You can just stop by after your routes for a drink and to gaze at my collection of dicks.” Despite his embarrassment, he manages to maintain the friendly and playful tone.

“So why dildos?”

“Only thing I consistently had to sign for and wouldn't fit in the letter box.” He explains and will nods, understanding. 

“That makes sense.. pretty smart, really. Though uh… maybe don't order from that place that sends their dicks in bags covered in dicks” he suggests.

“Oh, trust me, wasn't intentional the first time”

“Just the first time?” Will asks and moishe feels hot in the face.

“The second time was because you were just so flustered the first time it was funny.”

“I’m hurt” will jokes and sighs. “This is honestly a neat collection. Crazy that they're all so different.”

“Yeah there's… a lot of unique stuff out there, next time I get one, I’ll show you” he teases and will chuckles

“I'd like that.” There's a beat where neither of them talk, moishe uncertain how to take the statement and will probably kicking himself for it. Moishe decides to take the initiative.

“So you uh.. want to stay for dinner?”

“Uh, sure, why not.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow each chapter just gets longer and longer. dont expect that to continue cause wow this is one BIG chapter woops. super unrealistic but tbh this is more of a self indulgent thing so i can do whatever i want.


	8. Tipsy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Awkward dinner conversation.

Due to the dining room’s status as a temporary display for moishe’s extensive selection of adult toys, Moishe and Will found themselves ordering burritos for delivery from a nearby quick service restaurant in the living room. Again, they sat with some distance between them and Will picked up his water again and took a sip. 

“So, what do you do, Moishe? What’s your job?” Will asked as he made himself comfortable against the arm of the couch, one long leg crossed over the other in a casual manner that with just a change in expression could take on a alluring aura. Moishe needed a drink. 

“Not to boast but” he pauses and Will nods.

“Boast away.”

With the permission given, Moishe smiles a little “I’m a certified public accountant,” he confesses with some pride. And rightfully so considering the nature of CPAs and the difficulty with which the certification is acquired.

“Oh, wow. That’s impressive. How many times did you take the exam?” Will’s tone suggested genuine interest and Moishe found this to be charming as well as flattering.

“Two, fortunately.” Moishe confesses with a relieved grin, as if the euphoria following passing the second attempt resurfaced with the memory “I absolutely bombed the first one. I don’t even think I got my name right,” he replies with a chuckle. Will chuckled too and Moishe found himself pleased having caused it briefly before he caught himself. “I need a drink, do you want a beer or anything? More water?” he offers as he stands. Will gives his glass a look before humming in thought.

“A beer sounds nice, thank you.” Will decides. Moishe nods and disappears to the kitchen to get himself and his handsome guest a couple beers. He takes a moment once there and leans against the counter, taking some time to wrap his mind around his circumstance. The super hot mailman is in his living room, has seen his collection of toys, has shared some more intimate details about himself, and was lounging on his couch waiting for food with thighs thick enough to crush anything placed between them. He was going to have dinner, albeit cheap, with the hot man that plagued his dreams. The only way this could go better is if it ended with the two of them acting out any of Moishe’s fantasies. However, he wouldn’t expect that. The mail man hadn’t made any comment that suggested he returned moishes attraction and while it was too early to be sure of anything either way, Moishe held out for the off chance that things continued to play out in his favour. He got a couple beers as well as a water for himself before returning to the living room where Will was on his phone, the device humorously small in his large hands.

“Here,” Moishe says as he approaches and holds out the unopened beer bottle. Will looked up from his phone and smiled as he took the glass with a polite “thank you”. Moishe sat again and opened the beer he’d grabbed himself before taking a drink. “So, how did you get into working for the postal service?” 

“Needed the money, pretty regular hours, I don’t have to drive my own car, it pays the bills.” Will answers with a shrug. “Good job, I get to be more active than other typical jobs.” he continues as he opens his beer with ease and takes a slow sip before setting the beverage onto a coaster on the coffee table. “How did you get into accounting?”

“I was good at math.” Moishe answered honestly, eyes tracking Wills movements. “You’re pretty uh.. big. You work out?” Moishe asked and Will nodded.

“Religiously. I go to the gym every morning and twice a week, I meet with a personal trainer.” 

“It shows.” Will smiled in response to that, exhaling a pleased sigh. 

“Thank you, I pride myself on it.” A silence falls over them following that and while moishe contemplates whether or not its awkward, will gets the beer and takes another drink. “You really do have a uh… extensive collection.” Will comments after some time and Moishe chuckles somewhat nervously.

“Yeah. Yeah its a lot.. and I’ve got a couple more coming.”

“Oh shit,” will replies with brows raised. “Even after todays like… twelve boxes? Dang.” He takes another sip. 

“Listen,” moishe starts, “I’m ridiculously horny often and I have to satiate myself” he defends and the slight shift to wills brows lets moishe know hes had enough alcohol. The food delivery person saves moishe from having to feel too embarrassed though as they rang the door bell just in time. moishe got their food and sorted it out and finally they got to eat. Moishe hoped the food woth balance out some of the alcohol and instead he let will do the talking. They discussed some of their simpler interests, will liked to read in his free time, moishe liked to watch bad movies, and by the time they'd finished dinner, will had also Finished his beer and moishe had sobered up some. Still, moishe found himself working hard to maintain his filter. Though he found himself failing when he suggested that will stay the night.

“I mean, you did drink. You should, ya know. Stay long enough you sober up” he saved and will nods.

“Youre probably right, I should sober up. I shouldn't have accepted the beer, I’m sorry.” Will sighs.

“Its my fault for offering. Um.. we could watch a movie to pass the time? You should be sober in a couple hours?” Moishe offers and will takes him up on it. Moishe hands will the remote as he goes to make popcorn. The more food they have in their stomachs, the more it will absorb the alcohol and the faster they'll be sober. It isn't until he returns to the living room that he realizes the fault in his plan.

To watch the Tv, he’ll have to join will on the couch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter wasn't great But I was also super not feeling it. Anyway heres a fun take on “and there was only one bed” except its “they have to watch the tb from the couch for some reason and cant move the chairs”


	9. Finally

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moishe and Will watch a movie, do they kiss over hands brushing in the pop corn bowl?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is unrealistic and not normal and very weird but its some smut so like, i guess who cares?

The idea of sitting beside Will for an extended period of time with both of them tipsy after such a vulnerable conversation made Moishe nervous of what he may do, especially considering his crush on the postal worker was just as strong as ever. He takes his seat, staring straight at the TV as he sets the bowl of popcorn between them. The barrier the bowl provided was physically small but it did the job in his mind. Will must be too polite to try and make out with him and risk making a mess by knocking the popcorn bowl off the couch onto the floor, right? Then again, he could just as easily be polite enough to put the bowl on the table near them. He sat as close to the arm of the couch as he could, resting his elbow on it and his chin in his hand.

“What have you picked out?” Moishe asks as he sees Will press play, doing his best to appear nonchalant. 

“That uh.. Sharknado movie. I hear it's funny.” He explains. “And I’m not sober enough for something that requires actual processing,” he jests and Moishe smiles. 

“It's a really bad movie,” Moishe warns, having seen it previously. 

“Isn't that what makes it funny, thought? You can change it if you want.” Will suggests with a smile, passing Moishe the remote

“Touche.” Moishe took the remote and considered for a moment changing their selection but he decided better of it, setting the remote on the coffee table. “No, we can watch it.” He pretends to relax as the movie plays as his guest seems to enjoy it. Their situation was insane. No person with an understanding of common social cues would think this was a reasonable situation to be in. Talking to your mailman and inviting him over was very weird and him actually coming over is very unprofessional. But damn if he wasn't hot. So despite how absolutely ridiculous it was that this man was in his home, he was thankful for his lapse in judgement. 

Nothing sexy happens during the movie, their fingers don't brush as they reach for popcorn at the same time, and because they don't do this, they don't make steamy eye contact that leads to them leaning in for a kiss. They just watch the movie while Will sobers up and Moishe drinks to forget. By the time its over, they're out of popcorn. “Thanks for having me.” Will says and he picks up the bowl and their glasses. Moishe thinks hes in the clear and maybe they can pretend all of this never happens. Until he tries to talk like a typical person but instead he speaks his mind.

“Didn't have you how I wanted but this was nice too.”

Will gives him a look of casual vicarious embarrassment and acceptance that that happened and there's nothing they can do to change what has already been done, raising his brows and mouth forming a line before he heads to the kitchen without a word. The logical part of Moishes brain yells from the back of his drunken mind that he made a big mistake but the horny part of his brain, fully intoxicated, was yelling “damn look at that ass” too loud for Moishe to hear it exactly. He felt some semblance of embarrassment but he paid it no mind as he stretched out on the now vacant couch. He could distantly hear Will in the kitchen and part of him wanted to join him as he very kindly washed the dishes, he wanted to feel the muscles under the shirt, he wanted to hear whatever sounds Will would make as he admired the rippling abs Moishe was sure was hidden beneath the cotton. Just as he was getting into the fantasy of pressing kisses to warm dark skin and tickling him with his beard, Will cleared his throat.

“I’ll be uh. Going?” Will says, and Moishe opens his eyes, unaware that hed closed them, to see Will looking away. Moishes hand was at least not IN his pants but he was palming his growing erection through them. He should be embarrassed. But Will didn’t move. And this was crazy and would never happen again if he didn't take his opportunity now. 

“I think you should stay.” He suggests more breathy than he intended but perhaps that's what Will needed to be persuaded. For a moment, Moishe thought Will was going to flee, but that moment was short lived because Will chewed on his lip before visibly deciding “fuck it” quite literally, and dropping his car keys on the coffee table.

“I don’t think i've had enough time to get the alcohol out of my system.” Will says, as if still trying to convince himself despite having made the decision. “It would be irresponsible for me to go home.”

“It would be irresponsible for me to let you leave.” Moishe said with a little flirty smile as he sat up, crawling to the side of the couch closest to Will. “Plus I could use some help with things upstairs.” He dares to reach out to Will, slowly, before unceremoniously palming him. Will gasped and was clearly hardening under Moishes hand and when he didnt move to take Moishes hand away, Moishe gave him a squeeze that had the large postal worker trembling. 

“Sure, yeah, yeah, I can help you,” Will gasped out and the sound only make Moishes hard on worse. 

“Maybe you should help me down here first,” Moishe asked with another squeeze that sent Will nearly horizontal as he gripped the arm of the couch. “Of I guess I should help you.” Now that Will was so close, Moishe couldn't help leaning forward and whispering into his ear. “So sensitive” he coos. “When was the last time you had sex? When was the last time you touched yourself?” He asks but gives Will no time to answer before hes kissing his neck. He coaxes Will over the arm of the couch, moving with him so that hes laying under him as Wills member strains desperately against his pants, hot under Moishes hand. 

“This is crazy,” Will breathes, hands fists beside Moishes head as he's seduced by Moishes hand. “This is crazy” he repeats and Moishe kisses his throat and Will moans.

“It's so crazy. Live a little though.” Moishe coos and unbuttons Wills pants. “Let's make the most of this” he encourages and Will nods, though he didn't need much persuasion it seemed before he was returning Moishe's neck kisses with some of his own, supporting all his own eight over Moishe on his knees and an arm as he finally touches Moishe. It isn't exactly where Moishe hoped he would be touched first but he appreciates it nonetheless and focuses his own attention on unzipping Wills pants though Wills hand caressing his sides was admittedly distracting. 

When Moishe slipped his hand into the waistband of Wills trunk style underwear and felt past the coarse curls of public hair to the heavy heat of Wills erect penis, that alone was enough to keep Moishes untouched erection hard. The bite he received to his neck however, was enough to embarrassingly make him nut in his pants. He shuddered and his body tensed and Will knew exactly what happened.

The larger was quiet for a moment as Moishes embarrassment set in and Moishe removed his hand from Wills pants to hide his face. Then Will chuckled low. “Aw, already?” He cooed and Moishe felt like he was on fire. “I was hoping to get to use one of the toys you got for my attention.” He said and Moishe looked to him in horror.

“How'd you know?” He asks and Will moved the arms out of the way.

“I didn't until you said what you did about having me.” He answers. “Should have just asked me out instead of spending all that money.” He says and kisses and sucks at Moishes neck.

“Would you have said yes?” Moishe asked, accusing him with his tone that he would not have.

“No, But you would have save yourself some cash.” He confirms as he slips his hand into Moishes pants, giving him a squeeze in the wet and tight fabric. “So messy.” He clicks his tongue and the embarrassment only turns Moishe on more. “Do you have condoms and lube nearby?” Will asked and Moishe shot his hand out to the drawers of the coffee table, procuring a handful of both. “Really?” Will asked with a chuckle. “Right there?”

“I told you I'm just horny all the time.” Moishe defends and Will takes them from him, setting them within reach. 

Then Will does exactly what Moishe had dreamed he would do every night he touched himself to his image. Straddling his waist and sitting up, Will removed his shirt in the most deliciously cinematic fashion and threw the fabric to the ground as if it were offensive in some way, revealing chest and abs so ripped that Moishe felt himself salivate at the sight. The show didn't stop there, while Moishe was ogling the sight of an adonis over him with pants undone and member forming a thick bulge in the fabric, a slight treasure trail visible just over the elastic of the larger’s underwear, Will has grabbed a condom and opened it up. 

The sound of foil snapped Moishe out of his daze and he swallowed the wetness in his mouth, watching intently as he knew what was coming. Will pushed the fabric down with the hand not holding the condom, his hard, thick cock springing free, uncircumcised head wet with precum and Moishe watched in awe as Will rolled the condom down, determined to write everything down mentally for future use. The look Will gave him once done was just as hot and he smirked in such a way that made Moishe fear a second early climax. It should be illegal to be so hot. But as he sat up and Will sat back, beckoning him forward to with his stunning his, Moishe felt he could forgive him, especially as he felt Wills fingers run through his hair shortly before grabbing a light fistful and guiding him exactly where he was wanted. Moishe took a second to thank his god for such an encounter before he took the hot head of Wills condom coated member into his mouth, the lube present providing a slick surface for his try lips to slide across as Will slowly rolled his hips and moaned lowly. 

Will mostly let Moishe suck him off as he pleased, only keeping a hand in Moishes hair to keep his hand busy as the other fisted the couch and Moishe did his best to impress. As he fucked his face on Wills member, he groped himself, moaning lowly and Wills hips snapped forward at the vibration, momentarily choking Moishe in a way that made him feel filthy and it was amazing. He continued his head until Will pulled him back by the hair, a strand of drool still connecting them before breaking. Moishe wiped his mouth and stared up at the mailman.

“Ah, fuck thats hot.” Will swallowed, his chest rising and falling with each breath and all Moishe wanted to do was lick and kiss and touch every inch of hot exposed skin. 

“Then why stop?” Moishe asked breathily as he pulled against the hold of Will's hand but Will set his other hand on Moishe’s chest to keep him from getting what he wanted. Moishe whined only for Will to push him back on the couch gently before standing up. Moishe was afraid Will was leaving until the man forced down his pants and stood before him naked except for the condom. Never before had Moishe seen someone more attractive in his life and he was naked in his living room all for him. Moishe licked his lips as Will climbed back over him and began removing Moishes pants as he kissed his neck and Moishe took the opportunity to grope one of the bulging pectorals and with that simple move, the dominance Will had been showing faltered briefly as he shuddered, and froze.

“Oh, you like that?” Moishe asked with amused confidence. 

“You do that, I can't focus.” Will warns and Moishe pinches a nipple. Will quivers before regaining his composure and yanking Moishe’s pants down. “Hands off or you have to ride me.” To Moishe, that sounded like a win-win situation. The man of his dreams, weak and needy under his simple touch as he fucked himself? Ah, but he wanted so badly to be manhandled and he could ride anyone, getting fucked by Will was a once in a life time opportunity since, as Will had stated before, this was crazy. He conceded, slipping his hand down to stroke the member instead as Will undressed him. Will rolled the condom down Moishes newly exposed shaft at an agonizingly slow pace, watching every twitch of Moishes body. “Good boy” Will cooed and Moishe rolled his hips up to Wills in desperate arousal.

“Fuck me, right now,” Moishe demanded and while he intended for it to sound firm, the needy, breathy tone ruined that plan but even then, Will couldnt help but oblige. He hoisted Moishes legs up over his shoulder as he poured cold lube over his hole. Moishe flinched and huffed before shuddering.

“Patience.” Will advised as he fingered Moishe. “I’ll plow you good and hard here in a minuet.” He promised and Moishe moaned desperately. It was quite a sight, Moishe bent like this, hands holding onto the couch as if for life as he's lubed up. “You really masturbate often don't you? You’re so loose already” Will observes in an amused tone ashis fingers slide easily in and out and Moishe desperately repeats his demand to be fucked immediately. Will takes care to ensure that his member is also lubed up before lining the head of his cock up with Moishes wet hole and pressing in, and when his cock was buried balls deep inside Moishe, Will let out a deep sigh and it's even better than Moishe had imagined. Will starts out his thrusts down into Moishe slowly, fighting back the urge to go rough just yet and instead kissing along the inside of moishes calves. “You’re so pretty for me,” Will hummed. “So hungry for me, aren’t you? Swallowing me right up.” he continues though its clear he is having trouble. Moishe’s toes curl as Will strokes his member and he bites his lip. 

“Harder,” Moishe manages, squeezing his legs together. Will moved both legs to one side and held them there as he continued his slow and steady thrusts.

“Are you sure?” Will asked, rubbing Moishe’s hip and Moishe groaned, impatient.

“Fuck me harder, right now!” He demands and this time, Will concedes, bending over Moishe, bending Moishe over more with him, and supporting himself with a hand on the back of the couch and the other on the arm, moishes legs still draped over his arm, and Will fucks him hard and fast, hips slapping against Moishe’s thighs with each inward thrust and Moishe is filled with absolute pleasure. He grabs his own cock to try and keep up but the rough thrusts and the low growl Will is making as he treats Moishe exactly as he wants to be treated is distracting but there’s nothing Moishe wanted more right now than this. WIll continued like that for some time before he pulled out of moishe, breathing heavy. Moishe whined but as Will flipped him over, ass up, he stopped and just appreciated his situation. Once he reinserted his member and began humping into moishe, Will wrapped his arm around Moishe and began to stroke him. Moishe felt the tickle of long hair on his back and the hot breath on his neck but his focus was on his dick and ass as he was filled and pumped by the object of his lust. One particularly hard thrust partnered with a slight pinch to the head of his penis had Moishe climaxing all over again with Will following a few thrusts later. Will didn’t pull out immediately and instead stayed deep in moishe, panting heavily. 

“Fuck,” Will breathed.

“Yeah,” Moishe replied and when Will still didn’t pull out, Moishe got an idea. “Want to help me break in those toys?”

“How many are there again?” Will asked in response after a moment and Moishe smiled into the fabric of the couch.

“At least 12 untouched.” He answers.

“Yeah, let’s break them in.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is so unreasonable but it was supposed to be a Pw/oP and then i fucked up and added plot but anyway, there ya go.

**Author's Note:**

> Moishe belongs to matzo19 my very good friend hello yes here you go. Will there be additional chapters? Mayhaps!


End file.
